Love and blessings, thank you for your kind words of love, know my love deep within your soul, know acceptance of each moment as pure as each other, not a day passes without you close in my mind, not a moment without feeling your love deep within my being. I know I can be attached to the idea of finding you, to running to your side, know I question myself deeply in such moments as to my decision to be here, as to how can I show my love to you more fully, how can I calm the mind to let go and simply understand, what do I seek in my travels I have not found? I do trust in my decisions to be here, feel love deeply in each person, in each conversation, each relationship held with others I encounter, I learn about myself, learn about humanity, about the human condition commen to us all, bear witness to the rapid changes pervading the world. With all travels we learn, with each return we learn, when the glorious moment our souls shall unite again we shall learn, there is no limit to our understanding when we open ourselves to experience the the world with love and equanimity, love all equally, when we open ourselves to experiences as they occur, open ourselves to the unique experience of other beings. The more we travel outward the more we find ourselves, the more I find in common with all people, the more thoughts found common between minds, cultures and society uniting as a whole, the internet connecting all reaches of earth, our inputs, our paths, our minds globally unite in thought, united as one being, as a global society. I only dismiss my boredom, dismiss holding negative feelings towards others, dismiss my inattention to those in my immediate surrounding, I act my best to not shun others, to not push people away, to never not listen or not give my attentions to those who demand it. It certainly seems easier to follow this practice in a rural place in some ways, the filters needed of our consciousness to operate in a city almost demand a certain removal, a certain level of detachment, we cannot allow ourselves to simply be abused, cannot let ourselves get taken advantage of by any person that we encounter, or we would become spent, become drained of will, emptied of focus, our actions would be influenced and directed by forces external to ourselves, we would again be at the whim of others to take advantage. We should always take others viewpoints, others opinions into account, but we should not simply be swayed by others alone, not dismiss our own opinion or ability to decide, not follow others nor lead others astray, but take all such information neutrally and equally, continue to strive to remove our own bias and the bias of others, never stop to question our in judgement of a situation, of a person, of any action or deed we observe, always pull back, abstract and connect, intertwine and calmly observe the beautiful complexities and workings of the world, of other beings, no action can be outright dismissed, no thought should be universally panned, no limitation to our forming of a deeper understanding of the world can be discovered, the world in it's totality is infinitely unfolding and interconnected in which no part is independent of the other, in which no part is less meaningful or connected then any other, there can be no end to our understanding of the world in these bodies, in our consciousness as it displays to us, as the totality of existence is something that can never be conceptualized fully in these minds, in these bodies, can never be known in full to our consciousness, is the one true self, the singular conciousness that is responsible for all Maya, all apparent duality, all separation only illusion that divides what is one singular and all encompassing reality, what is not within time and space, but which time and space only have existence within.
The past few days have been introspective at times, have almost lost myself in memory, have felt a sadness overwhelm in fleeting moments when my mind drifts back to the tragic event of the past few weeks. So much love it overwhelms, yet so distant and detached from those around me I can find myself at times. While sitting with a larger group of people at an older friend's birthday a few days before, I couldn't help but fall into tears over thinking of her death, had to quietly contain myself and stare off into the mountains, felt an overwhelming sense of love for the moment, for each moment shared with each person around me, felt a deep love for each being, felt an overwhelming sadness over feeling an inability to help others, my futility in assisting others, felt almost powerless yet in the same moment felt a calmness liberating, felt a profound love and truth of the moment, felt an overwhelming sense of living the moment with only pure acceptance of all as equal as each other, each moment shared as valuable,  felt a calm in the knowledge I was as the totality of shared experience to be known between those around me, that only through my actions, my words, my reactions, can I send my love, my calm, could I assist their condition, through the moment can sooth their minds and subtly help, only through our exeprience of the moment do we form our views of the world, only through positive input and experiences can we learn to be more trusting, more loving, more accepting of others, only through example can we lead our lives to impact others, simply coexistence independent of coercion, independant of manipulation, with only acceptance and open arms for the moment lived between beings do we transcend ourselves and help others achieve calm within their minds. In the simple joys of petting an animal, of transmitting to them physically a sense of calm and our love, of simply giving them love without taking, with only our love do we calm them, only then can we transmit peace to their beings, only with the calming of ourselves do we tramute it to others, can we love with pure acceptance. The calm of mind you have brought myself brings moments of clarity, of calm, of profound inspiration, though this like all states of mind can be lost at times, like balancing a needle rolling on a thread, the pull downward of gravity, the winds blowing around, the stillness of the hand, such forces exist that will interrupts such balance, inevitability it will succumb to these forces and fall to the floor, this analogy is used by some buddhist teachers to describe such perfect states of calm found in still moments of mediation, is used to describe the difficulties one has in maintaining such equanimity, yet the more we train the mind inward, train the mind to hold these states, learn to calm the self ultimately, the easier it becomes to maintain such balance, the more skilled we become at calming ourselves, the more we can benefit others as we are less distracted by ourselves, by our bodies, by the multitude of experiences we witness in our consciousness.
For myself it has been a lifelong struggle to learn to calm the self, as close as it seems in moments the farther it appears the next, so difficult to hold ourselves in this light when so much pulls us outside, so much distracts and pulls our attention away from such meditations, so easily we fall into the trap of desiring this perfect state, of holding some spiritual prowess or skill, of obtaining such divine states of bliss, so easily like any other desire these traps pull us back, we find ourselves seeking a desire for ourselves, we can easily let the spiritual ideals become their own traps of obtaining something beyond, of not accepting the moment but seeking in the future, of needing something more to manifest these states, when we seek outward what is truly a manifestion of our internal state, we are looking elsewhere for where something cannot be found, we misdirect our focus away from looking inward, we block from observing ourselves as neutrally and equally as all else we witness outward when we see ourselves as different, as separate, as independent of the world around us, we disconnect from the moment. When we no longer see our state of mind as simply an internal manifestation, no longer view it as the subjective, but as an external to ourselves, as if it were the objective truth, when all within is subjective, all is illusion in the sense it is not objective fact but subjective experience, when we realize ourselves equal to all observed, all witnessed is equally subjective, this in my understanding is the conceptualization of Maya, of illusion,
Know my infinite blessings and love throughout your being, know my love deep within your soul, know the moments spent apart are as profound and full as if you were in my arms, as if we were in deep embrace, know a love for each moment as strong as I feel for you, know peace and love for each being, for each second shared in life, for each step taken on our paths. With each step I take inevitability draws me towards you, in each breath inhaled of sweet air fills my soul with your essence, within each beat of my heart sends love pulsing through each vein, your soul lightens my path, guides my spirit to act in truth. As I write this you may be sleeping, I send you mantras of love, radiating throughout earth love that penetrates all within, that lightens the darkest corners and exposes truth within, that accepts all sides of your being, all extant of your self as fully as can be, know I give to you my life and every ounce of strength I can muster just to know you find even one moment of liberation from the struggles faced on your paths, would sacrifice myself to help assist you to the truth deep within, to just experience a moment of your love is worth reincarnation for a thousand lifetimes lived out in pain, until then my body lives as an asthetic, as a renunciate from such desires of earthly blisses, will await my lifetime for the moment your soul glimpses deep within our eyes again struck into timeless and infinite exstasy of pure love, the moment our bodies may gentley grace each other in tender touch again, calmly I give you this life if just to know the touch of lips again against souls bound into vessels rejoicing in the life graciously and divinely bestowed upon us on Earth together with all beings, such timeless moments of liberation transcend their occurrence, these are not desires to take anything but only to celebrate in this life, if never lived I know an inspiration flowing outward from the beauty of your love regardless of what may happen, we know the depths of our imaginations may never be lived in these lives but are just as real if we truly experience such love, the love within all beings felt from any distance when we look within, our direct experience of each other is only limited by the choices we make, I would make no choice to push you aside, do not choose to travel away from you, but have made these choices before and continue to live with them in this moment, know my love, the time will come for us again as if no time has passed, will become the infinite moment of the present, is no farther away then any moment in it's inevitability, I await calmly knowing your love felt deep within me, know I devote myself to you as purely as I can, your self is the divine goddess of light we all must embody, you are truth and beauty, love and light, one without a second. Aum Aum Shanti Shanti Shanti Aum, let your beauty bestow love onto all you grace, know grace in every act you do, know love in every being and you will know the truth within, know I love you as life itself, as one without a second